Change can be tough. There’s a space between your old life, and the one you’re living into, that is full of uncertainty. It’s one of the most uncomfortable places to be. It feels like part of you might drop away. Part of you or all of you might cease to exist! Have you ever felt like that? “If I am not ____, what am I?” “If I don’t do ____, am I still me?” Changes rip the veils of our stories straight off and we are left covered in the ashes of our old life.
Oh, that messy middle… How do we know what to release? How do we know what to hold on to? What needs to be burned? What needs feeding? How do we know what is right and real for us?
This in-between, questioning space is sacred. There is no more fertile ground than this. And it rarely feels that way. It feels like your insides have little lives of their own and are re-arranging, but have’t let you in on the news. It feels the way I imagine a little crocus shoot feels about now. Sprouting under that dark earth. Methodically inching it’s way towards what it thinks might be sunlight…but who knows? Wondering why the ground is STILL not soft enough to poke through. When will the conditions warm enough for me to move from this small place?
In this space between, where fear is rampant, trust is mocked, I like to remember this:
The bad news is you’re falling through the air, nothing to hang on to, no parachute. The good news is there’s no ground.
-Chogyam Trungpa
Our lives are a continuous falling. We are never not falling. As humans do, we make up stories to make us forget this. We find security, things to hold onto for a little while as we fall. We stare at them incessantly, not looking at the wind rushing around us. But in times of change, this falling is never more apparent. Change can wake us up to what’s real.
I like to remember that quote when I’m feeling overwhelmed by uncertainty. I close my eyes, and feel myself falling. I let go into the weightlessness of letting go, the joy in trust. It makes these messy middles a bit more bearable.
What do you do when you’re in the in-between spaces? How do you move through them while at the same time, honoring them? I’d like to hear your stories.
Change is one of my specialties 🙂 If you’re in the midst of a shift, big or small, let’s connect. I’d love to help you embrace the beauty and sacredness of where you’re at.
xo
Nicole
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