Love

“My dear, find what you love and let it kill you.”
-Bukowski

There are so many ways to live. Why not live by letting the things dearest to you come ever closer into your heart? Why not open so wide that the whole world could live inside your chest? Why leave the creatures you love quietly (until now) tiptoeing around the corners of your life’s hearth? Why not invite them in for a snuggle or kisses?

Walking a spiritual path, being surrounded by yogis and other magnificent beings who are consciously aiming for wakefulness, means I’m very often confronted with the idea of discernment, restraint, and control. It’s true, it’s important not to indulge every small or big desire. That can lead to scattered energy, exhaustion, and sadness.

But this restraint has another side. It can make our lives smaller. Some squeezing is good. It lets us move through the fires that transform us. It puts pressure on us so we remember what we are made of and how much we truly can endure. But taken too far, too much control can have saying no to life.

You know the things that make you come alive. You may say, “no I don’t” at first. You may have been removed from them for too long. But ask a little bit more often. Write it on your bathroom mirror: “what do you REALLY want?” Have a good friend or partner ask you regularly and often. Ask yourself while you are dreaming. Ask your pets, your plants. What makes you come alive? What do you love so much it causes a stir and a delicious ache in your ribcage? It should feel like an old, sacred dragon is stirring for the first time in years. That’s where what you love lies waiting. Call on it.

It might take some time to wake. That’s ok. You don’t want it to burn your house down. Yet.

I say, follow that fire. “Find what you love and let it kill you.” Rumi says, “gamble everything for love”. I think he means love in the large sense of the word, not romantic love. He means true love, love that contains everything that makes you come alive. Let this love kill you. Or rather, the you that isn’t really you. Let is burn everything that’s resisting, everything that’s heavy and old and full of doubt.

Following what you love and allowing life to unfurl like a stream behind you is the best way. Life will continue to happen no matter what. Why not let your heart, your love be pulling you along? Why not let this soft and lovely current be your direction?

Love is a much softer way to transform. Skins shed, old patterns drop. And you get to be “the one who lives with a full moon in each eye” (Hafiz). Let love be your guide.

If you’re interested in letting love be your guide, book a session with me to find out how to drop in to that current.

With Love,
Nicole