Hey ya’ll,
For the past few years, I’ve been in a death process. In late 2018, I felt a quiet pull to begin releasing things that I’d spent quite a bit of time and energy accumulating/building. Physical things, money, relationships, work thangs, creative projects, beliefs, and other major foundational structures of my life.
It was scary as shit (and still kinda is). I could tell you all about the wild reality the planetary transits rocking my world right now (hello Pluto conjunct my AC while simultaneously squaring my natal Pluto), or the close relationships that have restructured again and again, or moving across the country and leaving home behind (sort of), or the crumbling belief structures, massive transformations in the realm of my “great work”, and of course the wyrd chaos that was 2020, but I’ll save that for another time.
What I really want to say is: YOU CAN TRUST LIFE. Whatever’s happening is the medicine. I know that can feel like shit to hear, but it’s true. It takes practice, the right kind of companionship, grit, grace and a healthy dose of humor to reap wisdom from the happenings. To let life shape you, to shape it. To recognize you’ve never really been in control AND that life is constantly responding to what you’re giving it.
Being human is a fucking trip, isn’t it?
Today at the river I found a beaver skull, all four front teeth in tact. I don’t know anything about anything, but I know it was a gift from the great mystery. A wink/glimpse into the great cosmic web. A reminder to keep trusting the death, and life that emerges from it. And because I believe the Universe has a grand sense of humor, a nod to the deep s€xuality work I’ve been increasingly devoted to over these years.
A few summers ago, I camped on the shores of a northern Minnesota lake for five days. No other humans, just me and a family of beavers. I watched them persistently, diligently construct and care for their home, meanwhile benefiting the entire ecosystem around them. (Seriously beavers are amazing for the ecosystems within which they exist, if you don’t know you better find out).
Tend your home, roots, foundational structures. You don’t need to know how it will ripple out. That’s not always yours to know. Do it for the joy of living. It’s the small threads of our living that weave the tapestry masterpiece. Find the pleasure there. Let it breathe and build slowly. Great creations require diligent joy and attention at the foundation.
Breathing gratitude in and out of this web that connects you and me. Thank you for being here. May this autumnal equinox bring you the medicines you need. May it go down with ease, grace, and beauty. May you trust the life at your door. May you make some beauty where you stand.
With love from my beaver to yours 😛
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