When love came, it entered my toes. I remembered the cold nights I spent away from the fire. I sat huddled beneath a bright sky, dark and curled into myself. Collapsing to conserve warmth. Sometimes parts of you go numb to stay alive.
When love came, it carved through lines in soles of my feet. It traced gold through their valleys. I saw it had walked all those miles with me. It spread through each metatarsal like honey. Now I walk sweet like deer do.
When love came, It settled in my ankles and I grew taller. I remembered the times I wanted to rise but couldn’t. Wanted to run but couldn’t. Wanted to be soft with my walking but was forced to stomp and shout. I remembered the times it was not safe to be tender.
When love came it fed into my knees and brought me down. In ecstasy. In terror. In awe. I bowed and rose countless times. I cried because I didn’t know I had forgotten how. To bow, to rise. To always be moving between the two, never frozen in one or the other.
When love came it thundered through my thighs. My magic rose and fed the trees. I let myself be soft and powerful in my standing. I became a warrioress. Warm rain dripped down them and I sang for what carries me to and from beauty, unarmed. Unharmed.
When love came, it flooded my hips. And then I sang from the place no one knows the name of, but everyone worships. I made sounds to make new stars and bless the old ones. I called out in longing for more and more and more and more. Nothing and everything was sacred.
When love came, it cascaded through my belly. The stone prison walls of will fell like giants. I raged mad for lifetimes. I screamed like I was being tortured. Red face burning, I spent all my voice. I fought until my body was a boulder and died. And in my crumbling, wildflowers rose through the cement of my body. I slept and became a garden again.
When love came, my heart shook with joy. The way a child does. Tears and cries and that uncontainable pleasure that shrieks and explodes. It rippled through the endless ocean in my ribs. It greeted the stranded ones, the forgotten, the beloved, the worshipped, the castaways, the pirates, the seekers, and the mourners. Everyone opened and watched the eternal sun rise. I was an earthquake of bliss.
When love came, it became a dragon in my throat. It pulled the sorrow from my teeth. It ate the heaviness. And smiled from the tip my tongue. I remembered all the words women did not sing or scream or whisper. And I gave them to the wind to be carried home.
When love came, it spun my hair into stars. My eyes became planets. Nose, mouth and ears, too. Words escaped and I swam in a sea of ecstasy.
When love came, I did not know what to do. I was afraid I was doing it wrong. I was sure I was doing it wrong. I had tried everything to feel ok. I felt broken. I was afraid to open.
When love came, it found me there. No more or less than I am now.
When love came, I only saw myself. As I am now and always have been. In all my beauty.
Self love is a big topic near and dear to my heart. I’ve spent a lifetime understanding how to let this powerful energy truly root in your cells. Join me for the Love Yourself (for real) eCourse in a few weeks to experience a plethora of practices that can rewire your nervous system to the vibration of LOVE.
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